Furshlugginer Knee

[billroper]

Going home would have seemed to be a simple thing and it probably would have been if the soft splint that they put on my knee actually allowed it to bend more than a few degrees. Although it's quite swollen, it can bend. It just isn't happy about lateral motion, nor do I intend to experiment with putting any substantial weight on it for the time being.

But when daisy_knotwise rolled the van around, we confronted the reality of me, one unbendable leg, one little girl in her backseat child seat, and the fact that the back of the van was still full of the stock that we'd brought back from Confusion. This eliminated most of the possible large flat surfaces in the van, although I was starting to consider riding home in the birdcage. However, this particular act of hubris probably would have caused the entire stack of boxes to fall on my already offended knee, so it's probably just as well that we didn't try it.

I tried crawling into the right front seat, but it rapidly became apparent that the knee wasn't going in that way. Thump. Ok, how about the left middle seat? Well, we got my butt in, but getting an unbendable leg in wasn't going to be happening.

The nurse offered the possibility of an ambulance transport home, which seemed pretty silly and probably would have driven my health insurance insane. Instead, we removed the soft splint, carefully bent my knee, and maneuvered my size 13 foot through the door. I realized that getting into the house would provide yet more entertainment, so I called my good buddy, Sam.

Sam had had quite a day himself as he flew back from a client and was just about to sit down to dinner and a large glass of wine when the phone rang. Being Sam, he left dinner and wine and headed out to help me get in the door and up the three steps into the house. Since we were clever enough to pull the van into the garage by itself, this worked reasonably well. Sam then helped Gretchen unload the van so that we would have more options about where to put me when we go back to the hospital tomorrow.

Gretchen went out and picked up dinner while I fed Katie. Then we watched How I Met Your Mother, Heroes, and Studio 60, because having landed in my large recliner I wasn't strongly incented to move until I needed to head to the bathroom. *sigh*

I'd already been informed by the nurse that I would be going up the stairs backwards on my butt. This took only about five minutes. Figuring out how to stand up took a bit longer. I eventually scooted into the office and levered myself up into my rolling desk chair, firmly braced against the world's biggest and heaviest desk and the lovely and talented Gretchen.

I think I'll just roll into the bedroom.

Comments

[starmalachite.livejournal.com]

My deepest sympathies. Last month, I was in similar-but-not-as-extreme distress for a couple weeks when the cartilage in one knee decided to get "irritated" for no apparent reason. Yeah, aren't bathroom trips fun?

Voice of experience: a cane is a big help in those circumstances. Keep it close to your bad leg and push as straight down as possible, not out to the side. If you have a good sense of balance, you can get fairly deft at it in a few tries.

Good luck back at the hospital today!

[madfilkentist]

I must have missed something. Sorry to hear about your problem with your leg, whatever it is.

But this is the first time I've ever seen the word "furshlugginer" used outside Mad Magazine. Where does it come from, and what does it mean?

[blueeyedtigress.livejournal.com]

FERSCHLUGGINER A Mad-word; "a sort of clean dirty word". From Yiddish
"far-schlogner", which we may translate "all beat up".

Found here in the Fancyclopedia.

[blueeyedtigress.livejournal.com]

Although I do recall Marvel comics defining it as being Germanic/Yiddish for "far-flung" ...

[shannachie.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear, you are having knee problems. GEt well soon!

[spiritdancer]

I'm having a bit of trouble getting my mind about them putting you in a knee brace, telling you to stay off the leg, and NOT at least giving you a pair of crutches! ::head slap::

Good luck later today on your return visit!

[catalana.livejournal.com]

*hug*

[jhayman.livejournal.com]

Darlin' you have just won the knee sweepstakes. You could just say that you did it playing football . You have my utter sympathies. I have a bad knee that occasionally flares (crutches and all) but never anything nearly as serious as an ACL. Thank goodness (because of those football players) they actually CAN do surgery to help. Doesn't make it any better right now, doesn't make it hurt less, but it does -- eventually -- lead to a pretty good outcome.

Treat yourself well so the knee has it's best chance.

HUGS!!!

[kestrels-nest.livejournal.com]

OWWWW! I did that playing soccer with a friend's 6 year old son about 12 years ago. For what it's worth, the knee settles down to being walk-on-able pretty much as soon as the swelling goes down. For me, it was weight-bearing in 3 days, and pretty much stopped hurting after about a week. And then about a month later, I actually had the surgery. They do a better job with it now.

Feel better soon.

List of things not to do

[tesral.livejournal.com]

Bill, you are not suppose to DO that. It is a little late to tell you to be more careful. So I'll have to say get better quickly.