Write It Yourself

[billroper]

See, this is what happens when you clean out your desk. I'm going through the big file of filk, looking for the lyrics and chords for Chess so that I can record a backing track for Randy, and I found a printout of a song that I barely remember writing with Gretchen.

Is it in the filk directory on my machine? No, it is not. Ok, search.

There it is. Let me move it to its proper home.

And here's a copy for all of you, from August 25, 2001:

Write It Yourself
by Bill and Gretchen Roper
(to the tune of “Do It Yourself”)


I went to sing my filksongs but the lyrics were all lost.
I could have got them xeroxed but I wouldn’t pay the cost.
I had to write a new one so I set my eyes to roam
‘Cause you can write a filksong ‘bout the things you find at home.

(Chorus)
Cats and rats and puppy dogs and other things with tails
Kitchen drawers all full of junk, the guy who brings the mail,
Things that linger in the fridge, and chili pots that roam
Yes, you can write a filksong ‘bout the things you find at home.


I’ve books upon my bookshelf that I haven’t time to read.
But fantasy and SF are no longer things you need.
If you want to write a filksong ‘cause you’re going to a con
You can wander to the kitchen and then turn the chili on.


My kitten is a terror as she stalks the house at night.
She drops a lamp upon the dog and runs away in fright.
The howling and the yowling may create an awful din.
I grab my pen and paper cause I know they’ll fit right in.


I have a filing system that’s the finest in the land.
I drop it all into the drawer that’s closest to my hand.
Flashlights, tacks and matches, superglue and lingerie,
Everything that I can’t find is safely tucked away.


My songs are full of characters, arcane, deranged, and odd.
One of them’s a doctor and another thinks he’s God.
Vampire priests and Vegans and a telepath that sends –
When I run out of subjects, well, at least I’ve got my friends.