Dastardly Plans

I have concluded that the Chicago Cubs have concocted a dastardly plan to convince Jeff Samardzija to beg to be traded to some other club that will actually score runs for him and not blow saves. I am not sure how they've managed to pull it off, but it's clearly working so far.

On the other hand, he hasn't yet destroyed a Gatorade cooler with a baseball bat, so maybe he's just good at coping.