WindyCon 32 Progress Report

[billroper]

Ok, I've proofread it as have daisy_knotwise and shsilver.

And the PDF is right here, if you'd like a preview before we mail it.

Comments

[madfilkentist]

Here's some relatively nitpicky stuff. For whatever reason, it was mostly stuff on the "Special Events" page that jumped out at me.

Under "Special Events, first paragraph: "We start out on
Friday with Opening Ceremonies where you’ll get your first chance
to meet our Guests of Honor." There should be a comma after "Opening Ceremonies".

Paragraph after that: "you get a chance competing..." "a chance to compete" would be more grammatical.

Third paragraph: "We will also be holding a Hall Masquerade for those who prefer wandering the halls while wowing us to being up on stage as well as a Children’s Parade." Needs a comma after "up on stage".

Registration form: Add a space for "Country," perhaps, in case some aliens (from Canada, that is) want to come?

[jennlk]

Another nitpick, this time under Massages:

"They will be in a private room on the one of the room floors, so watch for the signs."

Too many "the's " in one sentence.

I'm usually all about the grammar

[oreouk.livejournal.com]

This may be a grammatical variation rather than an issue, but in the paragraph about Bill Holbrook on page 2 there are several commas followed by an 'and', which I usually consider a no-no. Same applies way down the bottom of the page after Frederik Pohl's name and in various other places in the rest of the PR.

You may not need the first comma in the line "Then there's fan guest, Jim Rittenhouse," and ditto in the paragraphs on the filk guests and the toast mistress (though it's more noticeable in the latter than the former). This is probably another YMMV situation.

In the para about the masquerade on page 7 I think you should be able to put sentences 2 and 3 together with a comma. Also the bit in that paragraph that is in brackets is after a full stop instead of in front of it and contains a full stop within the brackets which it doesn't need. The last sentence in that para probably needs a comma before the "as well as a Children's Parade" bit.

If the dealers' room is sold out, you could probably do without the word 'about' in the first sentence on the subject.

There's another sentence in brackets after a full stop in the bit about Computer Gaming.

The bit on childcare is a bit brief - as a parent I'd suggest that you specify what that $35 covers them for (10-5pm each day of the con?) if you can squeeze it in. Or if there's more info about it on the website then mention that there.

Re: I'm usually all about the grammar

[madfilkentist]

The comma before the "and" is generally considered acceptable in the US.

Re: I'm usually all about the grammar

[(Anonymous)]

In some cases it's quite necessary. Try removing the comma from: "I'd like to thank my parents, my math teacher, and the US Navy."

Re: I'm usually all about the grammar

[oreouk.livejournal.com]

Ah. I was starting to think this might be the case but it still just looks all wrong to me!

Re: I'm usually all about the grammar

[oreouk.livejournal.com]

Yes, but the general rule here is to not do it except where if the line was spoken there would be a pause there (I think that's the justification), so more often than not there is no comma.

[billroper]

Thanks. I'll go through and put those in tomorrow.

[billroper]

*oops* Another edit-o, as I tried to trim out clauses for space. Thanks!

Re: I'm usually all about the grammar

[billroper]

This is one of those subjects which seems to vary depending on whose style guide you use. I'm a big believer in the terminal serial comma, but I'm a programmer. :)

(I'm also pro-grammar, but that's a different thing altogether.)

Thanks!

Re: I'm usually all about the grammar

[billroper]

Thanks. I added a website reference for childcare and otherwise adopted all of the changes except for removing the heretical serial commas and getting into the judgment call about the commas noted in the second paragraph.

That last is a close call, based on my long ago memories from English class. To pick the last example, if you regard toastmistress as an adjective modifying Esther Friesner, then you'd omit the commas. But if Esther Friesner describes "our toastmistress", then you'd use the commas to set off her name.

Or, at least, that's what I remember.