Ok, this seems counterintuitive. I'm playing around with picks of various gauges. It seems like it's easier to play softly (that is, with less volume) with a heavier gauge pick than it is with a lighter gauge pick.
I haven't found that, but my skin is so dry that even textured picks slied away, so I only use one if I need volume I can't get from my fingers & nails. So I can't exactly claim to have lots of experience!
My father-in-law has that problem too! He glues sandpaper to his picks, which works pretty well. (Just be careful it's only on the part you hold, or you'll sand right through your strings!)
He uses a pretty fine sandpaper, so it's not as ouch as it sounds! But then he's an industrial electrician and he has calluses a foot wide, so perhaps it would disturb your fingers more than it does his...
For me, a thicker pick, at least to a point, gives more control. However, I don't like the tone I get with a heavy gauge pick, so I use plain old Fender medium. A thin definitely flaps around too much to give you much control, and also gives a clicky tone.
I have a Dava flatpick with a section in its middle that is both thinner and ridged. The idea was that if if you grip it down by the tip it's a thick heavy pick, but if you grip it back behind the thin part, it's flexible like a thin pick. I was thinking that if you need a flatpick, this one might be less slippery than the ones you mentioned trying. http://elderly.com/accessories/items/PK80P.htm http://elderly.com/images/accessories/PK/PK80P_close.jpg
I can't remember how I used to get by with thin picks on my 12-string (though I have the leftovers to prove I once did). Ever since I started using mediums & heavies, trying to use a thin pick again just results in the poor thing being shredded in less than one song.
I am SO GLAD this isn't just me. I thought I was imagining it. My guitar teacher has this amazing pick he paid $30 for -- and yeah, at $30 it had BETTER be amazing (his wife had a different reaction, interestingly enough... *g*) -- and it was, I almost hate to say, the easiest pick to control I've ever used. It's also the thickest.
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http://elderly.com/accessories/items/PK80P.htm
http://elderly.com/images/accessories/PK/PK80P_close.jpg
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Me too, but mine are Martin mediums.
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